Keeping the Hope

Half of my bat­tle is men­tal. While I have nearly con­stant phys­i­cal pain, I have to also bat­tle with my mind. Some days I wake up filled with hope and thoughts of run­ning freely through the moun­tains. Oth­ers, like today, it’s hard to feel moti­vated to do any­thing, even dream. But I do. I fig­ure I have to keep myself going because once I stop mov­ing, I will move back­wards. I have found that when my inner pilot light starts to dwin­dle and I begin to feel help­less, I should do my exer­cises. Once I start mov­ing, lift­ing my 3-lb. weight and my legs, I begin to feel bet­ter. I think it’s got some­thing to do with get­ting the blood flow­ing but I also think it’s got some­thing to do with know­ing that I’m keep­ing my mus­cles gain­ing strength, and that this will pay off down the trail. I have to think that, or I’ve got noth­ing. Keep the mind focused and the body mov­ing. That’s how I’ll get there.